rejoice, and be glad! blessed are you

the journey of discipleship

Come share the spirit growing in you

Live out the love that’s showing in you

Dance out your life as only you can

Sing of the day we’ll walk hand in hand

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inner peace

“Peace, in the sense of the absence of war, is of little value to someone who is dying of hunger or cold. It will not remove the pain of torture inflicted on a prisoner of conscience. It does not comfort those who have lost their loved ones in floods caused by senseless deforestation in a neighboring country. Peace can only last where human rights are respected, where the people are fed, and where individuals and nations are free. True peace with oneself and with the world around us can only be achieved through the development of mental peace. The other phenomena mentioned above are similarly interrelated. Thus, for example, we see that a clean environment, wealth or democracy mean little in the face of war, especially nuclear war, and that material development is not sufficient to ensure human happiness.

Material progress is of course important for human advancement. In Tibet, we paid much to little attention to technological and economic development, and today we realize that this was a mistake. At the same time, material development without spiritual development can also cause serious problems. In some countries too much attention is paid to external things and very little importance is given to inner development. I believe both are important and must be developed side by side so as to achieve a good balance between them. Tibetans are always described by foreign visitors as being a happy, jovial people. This is part of our national character, formed by cultural and religious values that stress the importance of mental peace through the generation of love and kindness to all other living sentient beings, both human and animal. Inner peace is the key: if you have inner peace, the external problems do not affect your deep sense of peace and tranquillity. In that state of mind you can deal with situations with calmness and reason, while keeping your inner happiness. This is very important. Without this inner peace, no matter how comfortable your life is materially, you may still be worried, disturbed or unhappy because of circumstances.”

-The Nobel Lecture, December 11, 1989 HH The Dalai Lama

Inner peace...sounds attractive! Especially since my visit to the doctor today concluded I have some form of tonsillitis in which canker sores appear on my tonsils. This appears to have developed because of stress. Stress because of lack of sleep/rest. Stress from full (yet fun!) days in Denver last week - working from 7:30 AM - 11:30 PM most days. Stress from balancing my schedule so everything gets done before Christmas that needs to be done. Stresses I haven't learned to deal with properly or healthily.

As I wait this out (I'm not contagious, folks...but I could be in pain for another 1.5 weeks) I will take the advice of my good friends Dana and Becky and try to do something for me, find a way to de-stress and calm my brain. This blog is one such attempt.

Zumba, movies, sleep, hanging out, being crafty, the gym, reading?, praying, breathing...

post wilderness, pre promised land

But Moses said to God, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"
And God said, "I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.
Exodus 3:11-12

We studied this text (in larger context - verses 1-18) at New Fire last weekend. As we worked with it through lectio divina the words "Who am I" stuck with me. Who AM I? Who am I that God would call me? What is it that God would have me do? The rest of my group wrestled with alone, fear, mountain, flock, sacrifice, sent. Our voices resonated with each other as we explained our focus points in the scripture and delved into the text together.

This evening I was a contributor in a conference call during which we reflected on our National Council of Churches General Assembly experiences. For a moment I had to step back. Look at where I am! Look where God has called me! How the heck did I get here? Two years ago I never would have guessed I would be struggling with my processing and reflecting because I just attended the NCC GA?! Two years ago Elgin, IL was a place so foreign to me full of church leaders I had never met. Now those empty faces I didn't know are members of my family. Sometimes, when I step back, I feel like I'm trapped here in this spot - working for the Church. But only for a second. Once I gather myself and breathe in the goodness that is the Church of the Brethren I am aware of the larger picture - those things about which I am passionate, about which I care and through which I am willing to struggle.

There were some great quotes during tonight's meeting. Had I written them down I would share them here. I hung up with a sense of hope for the future and knowing that the future of THE Church and OUR church is something of which I will be a part...and that is okay. Through these times of struggle and tribulation (really not that dramatic, but they are great words :)) even when we begin to see the light and celebrate we must still remember, “we are in a post wilderness moment, but not in the promised land.” - Rev. Otis Moss III

worries. distractions.

Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me." But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:38-42

By nature I am a worrier. I don't want to worry. I don't like worrying. I just worry. So does my mom and my grandma. I come from good people.

As a relational person and a worrier/planner I wrestle between the characteristics of these two women. However, my priorities are screwed up. While Martha's deeds are good. Mary's are better. Mary's priorities are right and good. Martha is so distracted by the task at hand that she does not appreciate Jesus' presence with them! Whoa! (I hear Dana saying Je-sus!) If Martha missed Jesus - what am I missing? How are my worries and distractions keeping me from hearing God?

Thus begins my attempt to be more like Mary and less like Martha.